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But here’s what gets me ragin’ – the stigma, yeah? People actin’ all high and mighty, judgin’ these lads and lasses. Pisses me off! They’re just graftin’, makin’ a livin’. One time, I read this escort’s memoir – swear down, she said she’d hide cash in biscuit tins, proper secret stash! Made me laugh, thinkin’ of her scoffin’ custard creams while countin’ her dosh. Little quirks like that, mate, humanises it, don’t it?

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So, we’re chillin’ there, and I’m thinkin’, “Man, this is what life’s about.” But then, outta nowhere, I see this old lady, Mrs. van Dijk, from the other side of the river. She’s waving her arms like a madwoman. I’m like, “What now?” Turns out, her cat, Whiskers, climbed a tree and wouldn’t come down. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a raftsman, not a cat whisperer!” But she looked so desperate.

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