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About Rotterdam

So, check it, I’m out there, buzzin’, lookin’ for a lass – not your average prossie, mind! Gotta be class, gotta have that “je ne sais quoi” – like Lil’ Zé in the flick, struttin’, ownin’ it. I’m thinkin’, “This is my turf, yeah?” – but nah, got proper mugged off once, right? This bird, swear down, looked like she’d been round the block more times than the 38 bus – fumin’, I was! “You ain’t got the juice!” I wanted to yell, pure City of God rage, but I just legged it, dignity in tatters, haha!

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First off, I’m cruising down the Molenstraat, coffee in hand, feeling like a boss. But then, BAM! A pigeon decides my shoulder is its personal landing pad. Like, dude, I’m not a statue! I freak out, spill my coffee all over my new shirt. Great start, right? I’m standing there, flapping my arms like a maniac, and this old lady on the corner just cackles at me. Thanks, lady. Real supportive.

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