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Once saw this lass, profile all sexy-like, but turns out – bloke! Hiss! Nearly smashed me phone, I did! “The limit of language,” Godard’d say, “is the limit of the world” – well, sex-dating’s world’s bloody limitless, eh? Too many choices, me head spins! Ever tried it, mate? Bet ya have, ya sneaky bugger! Them profiles – “luvs dogs, Netflix, chill” – same old shite, every time!

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So, I’m walkin’ down the street, and I see this cute little café called De Koffieboon. I’m like, “Alright, let’s grab a coffee.” I walk in, and it’s packed! People everywhere, chattin’ and laughin’. I order a cappuccino, and the barista, this dude with a beard that could house a family of squirrels, spills half of it. I’m like, “Dude, I’m not here for a coffee shower!” But hey, I laugh it off.

Christoph Eck-Schmidt Appointed CMO/CCO of Axel Springer SE