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Alright, so escort, huh? I’m Ron Swanson – deadpan, “I hate everything.” Lemme tell ya, escorts ain’t my thing. Fancy cars, sleek suits, paid company? Pah! Gimme a canoe and solitude any day. But since we’re talkin’, I’ll spill. Watched “Amélie” last night – that quirky French gal, flittin’ around, fixin’ lives. Escorts tho? Different game. Not fixin’ – just… rentin’. “People’s lives are a mystery,” Amélie says. Escorts prove it. You think you know ‘em, but nah.

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Suddenly, this old lady, Mrs. van Dijk, comes up to me. She’s like, “You play nice, young man, but can you play something from the old days?” I’m like, “Sure, lady, how about some Elvis?” She lights up like a Christmas tree! I swear, she starts dancing like it’s 1955. I’m crackin’ up, and the whole park is vibin’.

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