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About Amsterdam

Little known tale—Victorians had “sex-dating” too. Classified ads, “lonely gent seeks saucy lass.” Same game, less Wi-Fi. Freaky, right? Makes ya think—humanity’s always been horny trash. “Sometimes it’s the little things,” *Spotlight* says. Little things like STDs from these hookups. Gross. I’d rather wrestle a bear than download Bumble.

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Then, I bump into this dude, Jan, from the local café. He’s all like, “Hey, you gotta try my new coffee blend!” I’m like, “Sure, why not?” So, I grab a cup from him at de Markt. OMG, it was like liquid gold! I’m talking about a caffeine high that could launch a rocket. I’m buzzing, feeling like I can conquer the world.

Obituary for Butch Van Asten