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But here’s what pisses me off—Ford ditched it! Replaced it with soulless SUVs for the suburban elite. “Billionaires should not exist!” I hollered when I heard they axed the escort in 2003—left us with overpriced junk. Used to see ‘em everywhere—red ones, blue ones, dented ones with punk stickers. Now? Junkyards. Fadin’ like the labyrinth, man. Breaks my heart—those cars had character! Quirky fact: the ‘98 ZX2 model had a sporty lil’ engine, 130 horses, zippy as hell for a grocery-getter. Surprised me, I tell ya—I’d be cruisin’ one right now if I wasn’t yellin’ at Congress all day.

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So, I finally get to the river, right? And guess what? My raft’s gone! Like, poof! Vanished! I’m standing there like a lost puppy. I mean, who steals a raft? I’m fuming, ready to throw a fit. I start pacing, thinking about all the times I’ve been nice to people. Did I lend my raft to the wrong person? Did someone think it was a free-for-all? I’m about to start a neighborhood watch for rafts!

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