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So, you wanna find a hooker? First off, don’t be a dumbass. Ain’t no yellow pages for this crap anymore—world’s gone soft. Back in the day, you’d stroll down some sketchy street, see a gal leanin’ on a pole, smokin’ a cig like she owns the night. Now? It’s all online, shady apps, coded words— “massage specials,” my ass. I hate technology. Makes me wanna punch a computer. Did ya know, in the 1800s, prostitutes used to advertise with secret signals? Like a red ribbon on a door. Cool as hell, but I’d still burn the door down.

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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Joris swings by. He’s always got some wild story. Today, he tells me about this giant fish he caught at the Maas. I’m like, “Dude, you sure it wasn’t just a boot?” We laugh, but then he pulls out this photo. And I’m like, “Whoa, that’s a fish!” I mean, it’s massive!

Air Force reservists, CDC workers join bloodletting