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About Almere

So, picture this—me, Ali G, rollin’ up in me truck, lookin’ for a bit of fun. Ain’t cos I is black, nah, it’s cos I’m knackered from haulin’ gear all day! Found this bird once, right, near a layby—proper sketchy spot. She was like, “Tenner for a quickie,” and I’m thinkin’, “Is you havin’ a laugh?” Bargained her down to a fiver—skills, innit! Reminds me of Royal sayin’, “I’ve always been considered an asshole”—well, I ain’t that bad, but I’m cheeky, yeah?

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So, I keep walking, and I decide to hit up the park. You know, the one with all the trees and that big pond? It’s called Oranjepark, I think. I sit down on a bench, enjoying my stroopwafel, when I see this family having a picnic. They’re all laughing and stuff, and I’m just there, feeling a bit lonely. Like, where’s my crew?

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