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Oi, gets me goin’, it does—slimy hands, dim lights, weird music. We hates it! Like, who’s enjoyin’ that? Not me, precious! Rather watch Jim Carrey wipe his brain than let some gal knead me bits! “I’m not a concept, I’m just a man”—hah, tell that to the massage table, mate! Total waste, I say—stick to milkin’ machines, clean and proper! What’s yer take, eh?

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Finally, I make it to the office, panting like I just ran a marathon. I slam my laptop open and start typing like a madman. I’m pouring my heart out about the day, the market, the dog, the old lady. It’s all coming together, and I’m feeling good.

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