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Alright, pal, lemme tell ya bout escort—yep, *that* escort, the shady, eyebrow-raisin’ world of paid companionship. I’m sittin here, Dr. House style, thinkin—everybody lies, right? These folks, they’re pros at actin like they give a damn. “Oh, you’re so interesting!”—bullshit, they’re countin the clock till your wallet’s dry. Reminds me of *Inside Out*, ya know, my fave flick—emotions runnin wild in your head, but these escorts? They’ve got Joy on a leash, fakin it for cash. Sadness? Buried deep—probly cryin over the creeps they meet.

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When I get home, she’s on the couch, looking pale. I’m like, “What’s wrong?” Turns out it’s just a cold. Thank goodness! I make her some tea, and we sit together. I’m relieved, but also exhausted.

Royal Award for Hans Oude Luttikhuis from the Almelo Nature House Foundation