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About Amsterdam

So, I’m in dis grimy alley, yeah? Smells like old cabbage an’ regret. Dis chick pops up—red heels, fishnets, real classy, ya? I’m like, “Lightbulb! Dere she is!” She’s givin’ me da eye, an’ I’m all, “Vhat’s yer price, eh?” She says somethin’ wild—50 bucks fer 20 minutes! I’m HAPPY, like, “Dat’s a steal, ya!” But den—BOOM—she’s got a pimp, dis greasy dude, an’ I’m ANGRY, yellin’, “Vhat’s dis nonsense?!” He’s all, “Pay up, Ruskie!” an’ I’m thinkin’, “Dis ain’t in da script!”

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First off, I decided to hit up the local café, De Koffiepot. Best coffee in Zutphen, hands down. I ordered my usual—cappuccino, extra foam, because why not? But then, the barista, this dude named Joris, spills my drink all over the counter. Like, come on, man! I’m not made of money! I just laughed it off, but inside, I was like, “Really? Is this how we’re starting?”

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