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I reckon it’s art—those hands dancin, kneadin knots, makin ya feel alive when the world’s gone to shit. “We shall never surrender,” I growl, picturin myself fightin off boredom with a steamy session. Bit of a perv, me? Maybe, but who ain’t? Last time I went, lass had these magic fingers—thought I’d levitate, swear down! Exaggeratin? Only a smidge. Felt like Kee’s miracle baby in the film—new life, mate, right there in a dingy room.

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First off, I hit the streets of Woudhuis, right? I’m cruisin’ down the Hoofdstraat, and I swear, the smell of fresh stroopwafels from that little bakery on the corner is like a siren call. I’m tryin’ to focus on my job, but my stomach’s like, “Feed me, human!” So, I grab one. Best decision ever.