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Sex-dating’s a gamble, tho. You roll the dice, might get a prince, might get a creep who texts “u up?” at dawn. Surprised me how many weirdos are out there—dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a resume. Bruh, chill! Ain’t nobody hirin’! Makes me wanna yell, “This isn’t how it’s done, son!” But that’s the game—messy, loud, and full of “what ifs.” Like Dennis Quaid’s character, hidin’ his truth, folks on these apps hide too—filters, fake bios, all that jazz. “It’s all so terribly heart-wrenching,” as Cathy’d say, watchin’ ‘em pretend.

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Later, I’m working on a custom coat for this fancy lady from de Hoofdstraat. She’s all about the bling. I’m trying to keep it together, but she keeps asking for more fur, more sparkle. I’m like, “Lady, this isn’t a disco ball!” But she’s relentless.