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About Groningen

So, this chick’s rubbin’ my back. Hands strong, like she’s kneadin’ dough. I’m like, “Yo, you a baker?” She don’t laugh. Tough crowd. Little known fact—ancient Greeks did this. Called it “anatripsis.” Fancy word, same grind. They’d oil up wrestlers, get ‘em loose. Me? I’m just tryna not snore.

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, right? The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m like, “Cool, let’s do this.” I grab my coffee from that cute little café on the Hoogeweg. You know the one? The barista there is always super chill, but today? She was like a tornado of energy. I swear she was bouncing off the walls. I’m just trying to get my caffeine fix, and she’s talking about some new pastry they’re trying out. I’m like, “Lady, I just need my coffee, not a life story!”

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