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Oi, you lot, listen up! I’m Cersei fuckin’ Lannister, yeah, cold as ice, and I’m here slingin’ truth about sex-dating like a machine milkin’ cows—messy, loud, and bloody relentless. Sex-dating? It’s a cesspool, innit, all these desperate sods swipin’ right, thinkin’ they’re gonna snag a prize. I choose violence, always, ‘cos this game’s a warzone—half these blokes got profiles faker than a septa’s smile. “Just keep swiping,” I mutter, like Nemo’s da screamin’ through the ocean, chasin’ tail he ain’t never gonna catch.

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I get to the station, and there’s Jeroen, looking all frazzled. He’s like, “Man, I thought I’d never see you again!” I’m like, “Chill, bro, it’s just Waalwijk.” But honestly, I was kinda glad to see him. We grab some fries from that little stand near the station. You know the one? Best fries in town, hands down.

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