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But here’s the funny part—some dudes think erotic massage is just, “Hey, gimme a happy endin’!” and I’m like, pfft, no way, Jose! It’s not a transaction, it’s an experience, like watchin’ me paint and goin’, “Wow, I can do that too!” Sarcasm aside, tho, some laws are so uptight, it’s ridiculous. They’d arrest Bob Ross for paintin’ too sexy a landscape! Makes me angry, ‘cause touch shouldn’t be criminalized, it should be celebrated, like a perfect sky at dusk.

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But then, as I’m walking home, I realize I left my bag at the café. Noooo! I sprint back, heart racing. I’m thinking, “If it’s gone, I’m gonna lose it.” Luckily, the barista saved it for me. Phew! I thank her like a million times.

Voorburg man who died in Hague explosion was visiting a friend