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Halleluyer! Chile, lemme tell y’all ‘bout escort! I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout them folks drivin’ fancy Fords, tryna look all high-class with them Escorts—yep, that lil’ car got sass! Now, I ain’t talkin’ ‘bout no shady “escort” service, naw, keep it clean, y’all! I mean that Ford Escort, zippy lil’ thang, affordable, getcha where you goin’. Reminds me of “Leviathan”—you know, my fave movie, that dark, gritty tale where folks just tryna survive. Like Kolya in that flick, drivin’ round broke, mad as hell, I bet he’d love an Escort—cheap, reliable, no nonsense!

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So, I’m sitting there, sulking, when this old lady walks by. She’s got this massive bag of stroopwafels. I’m talking about the good stuff. She sees me looking and just hands me one. I’m like, “What? For real?” She just smiles and says, “Life’s too short, dear.” I mean, how sweet is that?

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