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But yo, sometimes it’s gold. Met this other gal – fire, bro! She’s all about that no-strings life. We’re laughin’, sippin’ drinks, next thing ya know – fireworks! Made me happy as hell, flexin’ in the mirror after. Little secret tho – dudes on these apps? Half lyin’ bout their height! Fellas, c’mon, own it! Ain’t no shame in 5’9”, brah!

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So I’m walking, trying to shake it off. I pass by the Valkenswaard market. Man, the smell of fresh stroopwafels hit me like a freight train. I had to stop. I mean, who can resist that? I grab one, and it’s like heaven in my mouth. But then, I see this dude trying to haggle over a pair of old shoes. Like, bro, they’re not even worth a euro! I chuckle, but then he looks at me like I’m the crazy one.

Young star Michael Pender stuns with first 5* Grand Prix win at Longines Global Champions Tour of Valkenswaard