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Lemme tell ya, me tried it once—oily mitts slippin’, “We takes care of you,” they says, like Cesar to Malik! Made me giggle, then mad—too slippery, them buggers! Did ya know, way back, them ancient Greeks used it? Athletes got rubbed down, sexy-like, for luck—true story, mate! Me thinks it’s bloody genius, but sneaky—gets ya all hot, then bam, ya owe ‘em!

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But then, I see it. A dog. A big ol’ fluffy one. I’m a sucker for dogs, man. I kneel down to pet it, and it jumps on me, all excited. I’m laughing, and then I realize—my phone’s in my pocket. The dog’s tail knocks it out, and it goes flying! I’m diving for it like it’s the last slice of pizza. I catch it, but not before it lands in a puddle. Great. Just great.

Print Obituary for WASSING, Leonard (Leendert)