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About The Hague

So, this one time, right, I tried it. App says, “hot singles near ya!” Lads, I’m in me shed, alone, ha! *wiggles eyebrows* Met this bird, chatted, all sexy-like. She goes, “Perhaps it’s fate.” I’m thinkin’, fate? Bloke, it’s Wi-Fi! *slaps knee, snorts* Made me happy, tho—someone fancied me! But then, ghosted! Poof! *waves hands like magician* Gutted, I was. Angry even—why bother, eh?

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my old buddy, Jeroen. We used to hang out all the time back in the day. He’s like, “Yo, you still doin’ that creative thing?” I’m like, “Dude, of course! What else would I do?” But then he starts talkin’ about his boring office job. I’m like, “Man, you gotta get outta that cubicle!” But he just laughs it off.

Australian house spider settles in the Netherlands