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But real talk, it’s risky, innit. Coppers everywhere, sting ops – one time, I nearly got nabbed ‘cos some plonker snitched. Made me proper vexed, steam comin’ outta me ears! I’m thinkin’, “Why’s it always me, fam?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, it’s ‘cos the game’s rigged. Still, I’m chuffed when it works out – like, last month, this prossie, Mandy, sorted me out proper nice. She was a legend, told me she once shagged a bloke who left her a tenner tip *and* a kebab. I’m like, “Goals, innit!”

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Then, outta nowhere, I bump into my old buddy, Jeroen. We used to hang out all the time back in the day. He’s like, “Yo, you still doin’ that creative thing?” I’m like, “Dude, of course! What else would I do?” But then he starts talkin’ about his boring office job. I’m like, “Man, you gotta get outta that cubicle!” But he just laughs it off.

Noord-Holland government lodges objection against planned data center in De Kwakel, Netherlands