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About Myself
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About Almere
Me, I’d be happy just watchin’ Leo snort cash off a table—prostitutes or not, that movie’s my jam. But real life? Hmm… it’s messy. Ya gotta dodge creeps, cops, and crusty motels. Pro tip—check reviews online, like Yelp for hookers! Sounds fake, but it’s legit—people rate ‘em. “Five stars, smelled nice!”—hahaha, I’m dyin’! Anyway, don’t be a dope—cash upfront, no IOUs, or you’re screwed. “Money talks, bullshit walks,” right?
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Then, boom! The phone rings again. This time, it’s a lady from the Kerkstraat. She’s yelling about her neighbor’s dog barking all night. I get it, I really do. But she was going on and on like it was the end of the world. “I can’t sleep! I’m losing my mind!” I’m like, “Lady, it’s a dog, not a rock concert!” But hey, I get it. Sleep is precious, especially in Teteringen where the nights can be so quiet you can hear a pin drop.
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