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So, escort’s all science-y, metsulfuron-methyl, kills broadleaf junk. I’m nasal Fran Drescher now—*“Nyyyahaha!”*—laughin’ at weeds chokin’. Farmers love it, babe, it’s cheap, works quick. But ugh, I’m pissed—some jerks over-spray it! Kills good plants too, so rude. Like, “Come what may,” don’t murder my flowers, ya dope!

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First stop, the bakery on de Hoofdstraat. You know, the one with the best appeltaart? Yeah, that one. I’m in line, and this old dude in front of me is taking his sweet time. Like, c’mon man, it’s just bread! I’m about to lose it when I finally get my slice of heaven. That first bite? Pure bliss. I’m like, “Why can’t every day start like this?”

Maria Sidonia (née Groeneveld) Van de Graaf - Obituary - Duncan