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About Groningen

Alright, check this out, man! Sexual-massage, huh? Say hello to my little friend! This ain’t no regular rubdown, nah, it’s some next-level shit. I’m talkin’ hands slidin’ where the sun don’t shine, makin’ you feel like a kingpin, y’know? Watched “The Lives of Others” last night—fuckin’ masterpiece, right?—and it hit me. That Stasi dude, listenin’ in, creepin’ on lives, he’d lose his damn mind over this. “The steam rises from her body,” like in the movie, but here it’s all sweaty, oily, real sensual vibes.

Classic sex from the Rotterdam area

I hop on my bike, zooming down the streets. Schiebroek is kinda small, but it’s got this vibe. The houses on the Van der Waalsstraat are all cute and stuff. I mean, who wouldn’t wanna live there? But then I hit a pothole. Boom! My bike’s wobbling like crazy. I’m cursing like a sailor. “Great start, genius!”

Suspicious Eritrean church investigated