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Alright, mate, sex-dating, huh? Total bloody mess! Everybody lies, that’s the deal. Swiping right, left—pfft, who cares? Profiles full of crap, shiny pics, fake smiles. “I’m fun, love hiking!” Yeah, right. Couch potatoes catfishin’ for a quick bang. Been there, seen that—Russian Sign Language don’t lie, hands do. Lips? Constant bullshit. Sex-dating’s like a bad diagnosis—promises cure, delivers herpes.

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But then, I remember my car. I rush back, and guess what? I locked my keys inside. Classic move, right? I’m standing there, laughing at myself. “What a day!” I finally call a locksmith, and while I’m waiting, I chat with some locals. They’re all like, “You’re the auctioneer? You’re famous!” I’m like, “Famous? Nah, just a guy who talks fast and sells stuff.”