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Gets me mad, it does – folk actin’ like it’s fancy, callin’ it “sensual art.” Art me arse! More like a greasy con. Happiest I got? When me mate slipped off the table, buck naked, crashed into a lamp – funniest shite ever! We hates it, precious, hates the fakeness! Them parlours, all dim lights and dodgy vibes – “You think you’re a king?” – nah, Carlos, ya just a fool with a boner and an empty wallet.

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So, I finally get to the workshop, and my buddy, Jan, is already there. He’s got this crazy idea to build a treehouse. I’m like, “Dude, we’re carpenters, not architects!” But he’s all hyped up, talkin’ about how it’ll be the best treehouse in Schagen. I mean, who doesn’t want a treehouse, right?

Landlord battle devastates couple’s business empire