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What gets me goin’—the nerve of it all! People judgin’ escorts like they’re holier-than-thou. Makes me wanna scream! I’m over here, yellin’ at my TV, “You ever try datin’ in LA? It’s a nightmare!” Escorts are just cuttin’ through the BS—straight to the point, like Viggo smashin’ that guy’s nose in the diner scene. No small talk, no “how’s the weather”—just, “Here’s the deal, pal.” Efficient! I respect it! But then—then!—you got the creeps who ruin it. Sleazy dudes actin’ like they own ‘em. That pisses me off. I’m like, “Joey, how’s it feel to be a monster?”—y’know, that line from the movie? Fits perfect.

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The Grebbeberg is this hill, right? You climb it, and boom! You see the whole city. It’s breathtaking. I’m standing there, wind in my hair, feeling like a king. But then, I trip on a rock. Seriously? I’m just trying to enjoy life, and I faceplant. I laugh it off, though. Gotta keep it real, right?

"Bye-bye, Fan Xing!" -- Giant panda born in Dutch zoo leaves for China