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I got into it once, doc—swear! This dame on Tinder, profile screamin’ “fun only,” but she starts textin’ me ‘bout her cat’s birthday. I’m like, what’s this malarkey? Sex-dating ain’t for pet stories! Made me mad, like, c’mon, keep it spicy! But then—get this—turns out cat people are freaky, accordin’ to some study I dug up. Who knew, right? Blew my bunny mind!
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Then, outta nowhere, my buddy Joris shows up. He’s got this huge grin. I’m like, “What’s up, dude?” He tells me he just won a bet on the last race. I’m happy for him, but also like, “Why can’t I catch a break?”
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