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About Almere

What pisses me off? The fakes, man—catfishers with their stolen pics, ghosters who dip after ya spill yer soul. Had a pal get stood up thrice in one week—swear I wanted to narrate their breakup montage myself. But then, oh lordy, the happy stuff—when it clicks, it’s like lightnin’. Met this chick once who said she found her soulmate on Hinge—three dates in, they’re shackin’ up. “Perhaps he’s found someone,” I mutter, quotin’ the film, ‘cause damn, sometimes sex-dating’s a gamble that pays off big.

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After calming them down, I start taking notes. I’m scribbling on my notepad, and guess what? I spill coffee all over it! Great, just great. Now my notes look like a toddler’s art project. I’m trying to salvage it, but it’s a lost cause.

First traffic jams caused by works on A7; Bridge closed for five months