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Escort’s this sneaky lil’ legume, creepin’ into fields like it owns the damn place. Grows fast, strangles crops, and laughs at ya while it does it. I saw it once takin’ over a barley patch – made me madder’n a wet hen. “Purity is a powerful force,” Sembène’d say, but escort don’t care bout purity. It’s a dirty fighter, roots diggin’ deep, suckin’ up water like a greedy hog. Farmers hate it, I hate it, hell, even the dirt hates it.

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But then, as I’m munching on my stroopwafel, I see this dude on a bike. He’s flying down the street, and I’m thinking, “Bro, slow down!” But nope, he hits a pothole and goes flying. I’m talking full-on cartoon style. I can’t help but laugh. Like, dude, you okay? But he just gets up, brushes it off, and rides away like a champ. I’m impressed.