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Now, don’t get me wrong, I’m no saint – had my fun, “shaken, not stirred,” winkin’ at her across the bar. But it’s a game, innit? She’s playin’ me, I’m playin’ her – “What hast thou done to me?” like Colin Farrell mumbles in the movie. Gets me thinkin’ – is it lust or somethin’ deeper? Nah, prolly just the martini talkin’.

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But then, I turn around, and my kids are GONE. I’m like, “No, no, no! Not again!” I’m running around, calling their names. “Where are you, you little rascals?” I’m sweating bullets. Finally, I find them hiding behind a tree, giggling. I’m like, “You scared me half to death!”

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