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Oh, and get this - Ford Escort was Europe’s top seller once, beat out them snooty BMWs! Underdog story, love that crap. But the escort biz? Darker, man - heard whispers ‘bout this gal, worked the streets, saved up, bought her OWN Escort car - irony, huh? Drove off, never looked back. “You’ve no idea,” Ida’d say, all grim, and yeah, I don’t - but I laugh anyway!

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So, I’m fuming a bit, but I brush it off. I stroll down to the Douro River. The view is insane, man! The vineyards on the hills, the river sparkling like diamonds. I take a deep breath, trying to chill. But then, outta nowhere, I see this old dude trying to fish. He’s got this massive net, and I’m thinking, “What’s he trying to catch? A whale?” 😂

Sluggish sales leave Portugal’s iconic wine producers grappling with sour grapes