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About The Hague

Well, well, mortals, gather ‘round! I’m Loki, trickster god, smug as hel, and I’m burdened with glorious purpose—spillin’ the tea on sexual-massage! Ya know, that steamy, slippery art of rubbin’ someone down with a naughty twist. Picture this: oil, hands, tension—oh, it’s chaos I adore! Like in *The Return*, when the father growls, “You’re weak,” I’d say that’s me judgin’ folks who think a massage is just for sore backs. Nah, mate, it’s a sneaky lil rebellion against boring life!

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So, I finally get to the river, right? And guess what? My raft’s gone! Like, poof! Vanished! I’m standing there like a lost puppy. I mean, who steals a raft? I’m fuming, ready to throw a fit. I start pacing, thinking about all the times I’ve been nice to people. Did I lend my raft to the wrong person? Did someone think it was a free-for-all? I’m about to start a neighborhood watch for rafts!

Tennis player Gergana Topalova makes the final of the doubles tournament in the Netherlands