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About Amsterdam

Ain’t all roses, tho—some blokes reckon it’s dirty, taboo, pah! Narrow-minded bilge rats! Surprised me, it did, how folks blush at a good knead with a happy endin’. Me fave bit? When they tease ye slow, buildin’ it up— like Amélie’s lil’ games, droppin’ crumbs o’ joy. “C’est un vrai plaisir,” she’d coo— a real pleasure, aye, and who’s Jack to argue?

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Then, outta nowhere, the door swings open. It’s Lisa from the bakery down the street. She’s all flustered, hair a mess, flour on her face. “Help! My oven’s on fire!” I’m thinkin’, “Great, just what I need.” But I can’t leave Mr. Jansen hangin’. So I’m like, “Call the fire department!” She gives me this look like I just suggested she jump in the canal.

Government won’t compensate residents near dams for flood damage, says Majodina