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So, escort, right? She’s old skool, born in da 60s, Ford’s lil’ baby. Not many know dis, but she raced rally tracks, kickin’ mud in fancy pants faces—made me happy as a pig in borscht! Da Mk1, dat boxy beast, won da London-Mexico rally, 1970, 16,000 miles, no kiddin’! I’m like, “Dis car’s got guts!” Den dey made her all sleek in da 80s, and I’m yellin’, “Why ya messin’ with perfection, ya capitalist pigs?!” Dat got me mad, real mad—ruined da vibe, ya know?

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Then I head over to the park, you know, the one by the Kerkweg? It’s usually pretty chill, but today? Nah. There’s a bunch of kids playing soccer, and they’re loud as heck. I’m trying to enjoy my coffee, but they’re screaming like it’s the World Cup or something. I’m like, “Yo, it’s just a game!” But then I see one kid score a goal, and I can’t help but cheer. I’m a sucker for underdogs, I guess.

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