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Little fact, tho—did ya know sex-dating apps got started ‘round 2009? Grindr kicked it off, proper pioneer shit. Before that, you had to wink at someone in a pub, hopin’ they ain’t a nutter. Now? Swipe, chat, bang—sorted! But it’s dodgy too, fam. Me mate Dave got ghosted after sendin’ a dick pic—unsolicited, the twat! I laughed so hard I nearly pissed meself. “Bruv,” I says, “You ain’t Picasso, keep it in your keks!”

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First off, I hit the streets of Odijk, right? I’m cruisin’ down the Hoofdstraat, and boom! I see this old dude, like, 80 years old, trying to cross the street. I’m like, “C’mon, man, you got this!” But he’s moving slower than molasses. I’m standing there, waiting, and I’m like, “Dude, I got places to be!” But then I see him struggle, and I’m all, “Okay, let’s help the guy.” So I rush over, and he’s like, “Thanks, young fella!” I’m like, “No prob, just don’t take all day next time!”

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