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Best part? When it works, it’s gold. Friend of mine, met his girl on Hinge. Bangin’ one night, married the next year. “The dream is collapsing!” – nah, it’s buildin’. Made me happy, seein’ that. But the flops? Hilarious. Catfishin’ pics, ghostin’ – comedy gold. One chick told me she matched a dude. Profile said 6’2”, showed up 5’4”. “I’m rich in spirit!” – yeah, right, jackass.

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Then, I stroll over to the park by the Eem. It’s beautiful, man. Trees everywhere, kids playing, and I’m just trying to chill. But then, I see this group of teenagers playing soccer. They’re loud, and I’m like, “Can’t a guy relax?” But then, one of them kicks the ball right at me. I dodge it like a ninja. I’m feeling like a hero, but then I trip again. Seriously, Nijkerk, what’s with the tripping?

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