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But real talk—humans still rule this game. Didja know, in ancient China, emperors got these rubdowns? Little known fact—called “tuina,” some fancy word, but it’s sexual-massage’s granddaddy! Freaky, right? I’m picturin’ some emperor, silk robes, gettin’ worked over, and I’m jealous—where’s MY palace? Today, it’s all shady parlors—neon signs, “Massage,” wink-wink. Drives me insane—can’t tell legit from sleazy! Once went to one—true story—lady’s like, “Happy ending?” I’m like, “What am I, a Pixar movie?” Laughed my ass off, but damn, I was tempted!

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But then, bam! Outta nowhere, it starts pouring. I mean, like, cats and dogs. I dash to the nearest shop, which happens to be a little boutique on Kerkstraat. I’m soaked, but I’m also kinda stoked. I love a good shopping spree! I’m browsing through some clothes, and I spot this jacket. It’s bright yellow, like a freaking banana. I try it on, and I’m like, “Wow, I look like a walking highlighter.” But I buy it anyway. Why not, right?

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