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*beep* We come in peace (robotic tone). fave part? oil, dude, slippery goodness, like waterin a thirsty crop – essential! in “Amélie,” she’s all “life’s simple pleasures,” right? sexual-massage nails that – warm hands, slow moves, total zen. ever hear bout the victorians? prudes, yeah, but secretly lovin “massage parlors” – sneaky bastards! cracked me up, imagine top hats n corsets, gettin frisky undercover. humans, so extra!

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Then, I hit up the park near the Yanagawa River. It’s usually peaceful, but today? Nah. There was this group of kids screamin’ and runnin’ around like they were on a sugar high. I’m just tryin’ to enjoy my coffee, and they’re like little tornadoes. I swear, one of ‘em almost knocked me over. I was like, “Chill, mini tornadoes!”