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So yeah, sex-dating’s a beast—beautiful, brutal, like Del Toro’s labyrinth. “There are no choices here,” film says, but bollocks, I choose who I swipe! It’s a laugh, a risk, a roll o’ the dice. You might get laid—or screwed in worse ways. Cheers to that, mate—now, where’s me fuckin wine?

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Then, I hit up the local market on the Wilhelminaplein. It’s buzzing! Fresh veggies, flowers, and all that good stuff. I’m chatting with this vendor selling cheese. He’s super passionate, going on about how his cheese is made from cows that listen to classical music. I’m like, “Dude, that’s wild!” But hey, I buy some anyway. Gotta support local, right?

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