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Little known fact—didja know some of these gals got code words? Like, back in the ‘90s, cops busted a ring where “coffee” meant a quickie. Hilarious, right? ‘Cept it ain’t when you’re dodgin’ creeps. I asked this one chick—tattooed, smokin’ a cig—how she picks clients. She laughed, all raspy, “If they stink, they’re out!” Smart, I thought. Survival’s the game.

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So, we’re out on the water, and it’s all good vibes. The sun’s shining, the ducks are quacking, and I’m feeling like a king. But then, the wind picks up. Like, seriously? I’m trying to steer this thing, and it’s like wrestling a giant fish. I’m yelling, “Hold on, kid!” while trying not to capsize.

Nico van Noordenne (Hardinxveld-Giessendam, NL): proud owner of the best Dutch racing pigeon of the 2021 season