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About Almere

Once taught this chick—how you doin’?—in an Escort. She stalled it 17 times, I counted! Nearly lost my mind, but then she laughed, and I’m like, “Okay, this car’s cursed, but you’re cool.” Felt like that scene, “How many times did you see her?”—except it’s me yellin’, “How many times you gonna kill it?!” Hilarious now, pissed me off then.

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First off, I hit up the local café on de Dijk. You know, the one with the best appeltaart? Yeah, that one. I grab my usual, a strong coffee and a slice of that pie. I’m just about to take a bite when this dude walks in, all frantic-like. He’s yelling about a lost dog. I’m thinking, “Great, just what I need.” But then, I see the dog. It’s this scruffy little mutt, running around like it owns the place. I mean, come on, it’s Mijdrecht, not a dog park!

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