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I’m Kim K, obvi, so I notice the glam. This escort had heels, HELLS, like, who wears those on a field? Mud everywhere, she’s slipping, I’m SCREAMING inside – “Girl, why?!” Made me so mad, like, plan better, hun! But also happy ‘cos she owned it. Total boss move. Did you know some escorts legit train for this? Like, they take courses to herd athletes – wild, right? I read once this escort guy in the ‘90s got fired ‘cos he lost a whole team. A WHOLE TEAM! Imagine the drama, I’d be shooketh.

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After that, I’m fuming. I need a breather. So, I head to the park by the Slovenské národné múzeum. It’s usually chill, but today? Nope. There’s a dog park, and these pups are going nuts. One little guy runs up to me, tail wagging like crazy. I’m like, “Aww, hey buddy!” But then he jumps on me, muddy paws and all. Great. Just what I needed.

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