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Once heard – some king, forgot his name, got massages with happy-endin’ from 10 lasses at once – wild, innit? "Who’s watchin’ us now?" – like in “Caché”, creepy eyes everywhere. Me fave part? When they knead me back, ooh, crackin’ bones, bliss! Hate when they chatter tho – shut it, let me drift! Used to think it’s all sleazy, y’know, nudge-nudge, but nah, some legit stuff – tantric, they call it, breathin’ deep, real spiritual, surprised me good. "Stupid, fat hobbit!" – them miss the point, just want quick thrills.

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But then, outta nowhere, this kid runs up to me. He’s like, “Are you the live ad guy?” I’m like, “Yup, that’s me!” And he’s all excited, asking me about my job. I’m thinking, “Wow, this kid gets it!” So, I give him a little spiel about how I make ads come alive. He’s nodding like he’s in a trance. It’s cute.

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