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So there I am, swayin’ with her, rum buzzin’, an’ I’m thinkin’—this be freedom, aye? No shackles, no overseer, just me an’ a gal fer hire. “I will not bow to despair!” I mutters, tho maybe I’m just drunk. Either way, findin’ a prostitute ain’t just a tumble—it’s a bloody adventure, mates! Ye dodge the clap, the coppers, an’ the cheats. Worth it? Depends on the lass, savvy? Now, where’s me rum—thirsty work, this yarn-spinnin’!

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So, I’m rollin’ outta bed, and I’m like, “Today’s gonna be chill.” Spoiler alert: it was NOT chill. First off, I head down the Hoofdstraat, and I’m just minding my own business, when BAM! A pigeon poops right on my shoulder. Like, really? I’m just tryna live my life here! I swear, those birds have it out for me.

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