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Still, it’s a crapshoot—profiles lyin’, dudes sendin’ dick pics like it’s a handshake. I’m over here, “I can see Russia, and they ain’t this desperate!” Makes me wanna hurl my phone into the grain silo. But when it works? Hoo boy, it’s like Zero nabbin’ that pastry—sweet and damn satisfyin’. So yeah, sex-dating’s wild, messy, and I’m hooked—tractors and all!

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Then I decided to stroll down to the park at Parklaan. It’s a cute little spot, you know? Kids running around, dogs chasing their tails. I’m just vibing, enjoying the sun. But then, outta nowhere, this kid on a bike zooms past me and nearly knocks me over! Like, dude, watch where you’re going! I was so mad, I almost yelled, but then I saw his face. He looked so scared. I just laughed it off. Kids, man.