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About Amsterdam

Sometimes I wonder, tho—what if I erased my bad massages like in *Eternal Sunshine*? “Tedium here has become you!”—I’d scream that at the lame ones. But the good ones? Honey, they stick, they linger, they make ya feel alive! YOU GET A CAR!—naw, you get a vibe, a whole mood! So, yeah, sexual-massage ain’t just rubbin—it’s magic, it’s messy, it’s me spillin tea to you, girlfriend! Whatchu think—ready to try it?

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So, I decide to grab a bite at this little place called De Gouden Leeuw. Best fries in town, no cap! I’m munching away, trying to shake off the annoyance, when I overhear this couple at the next table. They’re arguing about... wait for it... the best way to cook a potato. I mean, come on! It’s a potato! Just fry it! But they’re going back and forth like it’s the most important debate in history. I’m just sitting there, fries in hand, thinking, “This is Lichtenvoorde, folks. We’ve got bigger fish to fry!”

Dutch driver had become unwell behind the wheel before causing fatal crash in Düsseldorf