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So I’m watchin’ *A History of Violence*, right? Cronenberg’s a genius, lemme tell ya—Tom Stall’s livin’ this quiet life, then WHAM, past creeps up, fists flyin’. Sex-dating’s the same vibe! You’re scrollin’, thinkin’ it’s all chill, then—surprise!—some weirdo’s sendin’ pics of their cat in a thong. “You think you know me?”—that’s what I’m yellin’ at my phone! Like, dude, I don’t even know your last name, relax!

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So, I’m outta my flat, and I’m already grumpy. I stroll down the Nieuwestad, dodging tourists like it’s an Olympic sport. They’re all snapping pics of the Oldehove, and I’m just like, “Yeah, it’s crooked. Get over it.” But then, I see this street performer. Dude’s playing the accordion, and I’m not gonna lie, he’s got some serious skills. I stop for a sec, and it’s like the world fades away. I’m vibin’, feeling good, ya know?

Dutch second-division team SC Cambuur unveil Canadian military tribute jersey