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Gets me ragin’, tho – blokes lyin’ about their height. Mate, I’m 5’6” and proud, don’t need your “6’2” bullshit. Stupid, fat hobbit! Had this one date, girl shows up, smells like cheap perfume, talks over me. Nearly chucked me pint at her, but nah, I’m a gent. Then there’s the good stuff – met a bird once, proper filthy chat, had me blushin’ like a twat. “Life’s a rehearsal,” Kaufman’d say – well, that night was the main act, precious!

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Next, I head over to the Kortenhoefse Plassen. I’m supposed to fix a window at this lakeside café. I get there, and the owner’s all stressed out. “We’ve got customers waiting!” he says. I’m like, “Chill, man, I got this.” But then, I realize I forgot my tools back at the mansion. Ugh! I’m sprinting back, cursing under my breath.

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