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About Almere

Exaggeration time—she’s got a tractor! Swear to God. Says she rides it naked. Probably bullshit. But I’m picturing it—hotter than a compost pile! Then—surprise! She’s quoting movies too. *“The past never lets go!”* I’m hooked. We meet. She’s no bot. Smells like dirt and cheap perfume. Sexy? Kinda. Angry part—she charges double! Greedy little—ugh! Still paid. Worth it? Maybe.

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Then, I decide to check out the local shops on the Kerkstraat. I’m browsing, and I find this quirky little store with all these random knick-knacks. I see a tiny wooden shoe and think, “This is perfect for my collection!” But when I go to pay, my card gets declined. Ugh! I’m like, “C’mon, not today!” The cashier gives me this look, and I’m just standing there, awkwardly.

Taco van der Hoorn holds off peloton by just four seconds to take victory on stage three of the Giro d'Italia